just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
