Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
