I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just had sex on a roof
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
