I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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