His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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