I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
