Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
