He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
