just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
