Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
