the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
