I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
