i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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