What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
