don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
