the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
