I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
