A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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