you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The air was thick with penises
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
