I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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