dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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