My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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