College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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