Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
