Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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