Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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