I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
