Do you still have your period?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
