I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
