This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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