i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There r osticjed everywhere
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize