Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
