My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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