all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
