After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
