yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
