Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
