Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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