Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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