If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
