you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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