I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
