this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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