My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
