I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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