You work out of a Hotel?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
