im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you had me at cake vodka
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
