omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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