Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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