your parents love me but you hate me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
