dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
