All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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