Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
